I completed TRUE SIGHT in November and since then have been polishing the manuscript. I bet I could edit it thousands of times! I am still looking for the agent that will love it as much as I do. I have also updated my query like a million times.  I did get some great feedback from an author I respect and made those changes to the query. I think it’s great (I better!). Here is an example of the first query I sent out and the most resent I sent yesterday. It has changed SOOOO much!

*****

Query from November:

Dear Agent (I used her name):

Twenty-four year old Trudence Leigh Darling’s life finally began after an electrical accident presented her with enhanced sight, forever changing her, inside and out. Tru must discover her new power to see soul sparks, find their perfect mate, fuse them and still have time to date Weylin, the mysterious billionaire who befriended her bother and rivals her best friend. Eventually, when her heart, soul and mortal existence are on the line, she must choose between her destiny as a sparkler or join the darkness that may truly destroy her. The 75,000 words of my woman’s fiction novel, True Sight, follow Tru’s experience of unbelievable love, untameable evil and her sometime humorous place in the middle. This is book one in the three book sparkler series. Books two and three, True Friends and True Love, are currently in development.

I graduated from the Washington University Biomedical Engineering Science degree program in May 2005. I offer experience as a wife, mother, soul mate, and hold the faith that there is love at first spark.

Most Resent Query:

Dear Agent,

I found your blog link while reading Jennifer Jackson’s Query War’s posting. Your latest post really attracted me. Your sincerity and faith in your client is really inspiring. I really hope you enjoy my novel.

The 80,000 words of my paranormal/Christian novel, TRUE SIGHT, follow Tru’s experiences of unbelievable love, untamable evil and her sometime humorous place in the middle. This is book one in the three book Sparkler series. Books two and three, TRUE FRIENDS and TRUE LOVE, are currently in outline form.

Twenty-four year old Trudence Leigh Darling’s mundane life as a bank loan processor ends after an electrical “accident” gifts her with divine sight, forever changing her, inside and out. Tru’s self-defeating personality concludes she is either insane or has a toxic tumor once she starts seeing brilliant and beautiful, sparksin the eyes of strangers. The sparks call to her and guide her to be more than she ever dreamed possible. Tru isn’t insane or dying but has been chosen to serve a greater purpose. She learns she was chosen to have the divine gift of seeing people’s soul sparks.When a soul is ready for true love, it sparks; only she can see it and must find its perfect mate by finding its matching spark. Attempting to not to look like a crazy stalker chick, she uses her wits, luck and a bit of questionable intervention to fuse the sparks in eternal love. Although surrounded by love, it isn’t her own, which has eluded her despite the most ambitious meddling from a loving mother. While juggling her divine duties she’s determined to find time to date Weylin, the mysterious and devilishly irresistible billionaire who befriends her bother and rivals her best friend. Initially she’s unaware of the evil that lurks in the shadows. When her life and faith are threatened she begins to understand the power of her gift and the danger of choice.

Karlie, Tru’s best friend, begins sketching private moments from Tru’s life; reluctantly she accepts the truth about Weylin. {took out the ending spoiler}. After all, what choice does she really have?

Set in St. Louis Missouri, TRUE SIGHT is the ultimate journey of a young woman’s self-discovery with twists of weakness, peaks of strength, and a glimpse at the holy battle for souls.

I graduated from the Washington University St. Louis Biomedical Engineering Science degree program in May 2005. I offer experience as a wife, mother, soul mate, and hold the faith that there is love at first spark. (I know it’s cheesy, but I really do.) I am an active member of several St. Louis writing groups and have attended writing conventions. I study the publishing business extensively and look forward to your feedback.

*****

So what do you think? Would you want to read more? I am taking all comments. I want it to be the best it can be.  I’ve been reading a blog by agent Jennifer Jackson. She posts each week how many queries she reads and how many she requests. The percent is staggering, less than 1% requested ! I was shocked. With that said, my query better be OUTSTANDING!

THANKS!

OK – I published this at 8:44am and by 9:00 I got a request for a full manuscript read! Holy crap, I guess the query was pretty good!

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Check out this quiz and see if you and your sweetheart are Soul SPARKS! Actually this quiz is called “True Soul Mates?” perfect huh?

And if you haven’t found that SPARK then check out this quiz from the author of THE SOULMATE SECRET, Arielle Ford.

Enjoy and let the love spark on!

This pic’s just because he’s cute and I am sure the want-ta-be soul mate for millions of girls. Oh Edward…..

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I am done with TRUE SIGHT, well done with the first draft. Now what to do??? I have a ton of different ideas, maybe you can help narrow it down.

1. Non-fiction Tween Book to help kids and parents communicate about life and all the ups and downs.

2. Non-fiction book for engineers with no personalities.

3. A YA book about a boy, his sister, parents and a NEW TOWN. Scary book with wolf/bears and sacrifices.

4. Sevens Series, books based on the seven deadly sins and how teens survive by the grace of God. YA books that are dark and interesting with a hint of faith and love.

5. A twist on immaculate conception. In my version it’s not the son of God that comes to earth, but GOD’S BEST FRIEND.

           OK – what do you think? I love them all.

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Written by Aprilynne Pike

Aprilynne Pike

Wings is well in a word…Faeryastic! I loved the book. It was a new twist to an old fairytale. This was my first Faery book and I really, really loved it. It was recommended by Jackson Pearce, fellow author and funny gal..Thanks!

 The book centers around Laurel, a beautiful, sweet, strange teen. Laurel is an excellent character. She is as human as you or me, but not quiet just a human. Adopted by her loving parents she grows up home schooled. When she starts public high school she has to make friends and learn to be a normal girl. All the while she struggled with her own weirdness she found a connection in a great guy, David. David is calm and sweet, the kind of guy every girl would love to be best friends with and even more.

 The slowness of the first half builds up to a very dramatic ending. I kept fighting the urge to read ahead. Enter the handsome and mysterious Tamani. He is the kind of character you want desperately and love to hate the fact that he’s actually not able to be real. David could be real he could be a guy you know or grew up with. Tamani is something different, something strange and mysterious. I wanted to know all about him. I want to know what he can do and how he does it. I really want to know if he and Laurel are going to pollinate… You’ll have to read Wings to know what I mean by that.

 I really do recommend this book, it’s a great read.

 I give it 4 1/2 Bran Stars!   

 + 1/2 Bran Star

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Nathan Bransford,agent, had a guest blogger on today that wrote about how easy it was to do his own trailer. Now I have to do it! Oh course I will be spending the next month playing and obsessing. Damn you Nathan.

I would love to hear what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UsDkZ1Ej5I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kYv8Vc9tFQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWNGIRTU2u4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_UUVwTaemk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7IpLhITWvs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrZ7IsA79ck

This is a clip by Jakson Pierce – she is hysterical!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ_-TOJhXXk

Note to self: Learn how to add an actual youtube video not just the links!

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Written by Nicholas Sparks 

Nicholas Sparks is a well known author of books (and movies) like Nights in Rodanthe, The Notebook, etc.. I picked up this second hand book for $.50 at a flee market. It’s a good thing too because I would never pay full price for this novel. I expected to love it, he’s a NYT Best Seller. It was the most awful book I have ever read! I know that sounds harsh, but really, it was terrible.

The story starts off bumpy, a sad man pining for some lost love. Then poof to the past where this NY writer (so cheesy writing about a writer) leaves NY for a small town girl he fell in love with in a day. I am a believer in love at fist sight, that’s what my novel is about, but this was stupid. The book is written in a man’s voice, Jeremy. He’s an ok character but boring. He never really does anything. Most of the book is spent in his head talking about his thoughts, which are shallow and stupid. He loves Lexi, she is his soul mate. OK that’s great. But then he gets some random e-mails and begins to question her love, her honesty, and the baby she is caring. I mean, COME ON! If you love someone unconditionally why would some random e-mail upset you? It just doesn’t make since. Why wouldn’t you just talk about it? The whole thing was dumb. I found myself reading the first three pages of a chapter then the last three, all the crap in the middle just sucked eggs.  

 He actually complained in chapter 15 about being rejected (sexually) after they got married. He remembered the exact date! What a tool. Then there is a problem with the pregnancy, which is drama but not the kind I like. Then when it was time to go to the hospital he took a long shower and clipped his nails. Who does that? What kind of husband/father is that selfish? Then he does the unthinkable, blames the baby. I won’t give away the end. I can say that the very last chapter was the best in the entire book.

Bottom line, Jeremy is a jealous hysterical man most of the book. You can just skip CH 1 through 18. Start at 19, it finally gets interesting. I can see what Sparks was trying to do. He wanted to show true love and true loss, but fell short.

 I give this book two Bran Stars.

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This morning I was thinking about Mary and what she must of been feeling 2009 years ago. Not only looking at the face of her child but at the face of God himself. What a wonderful moment for her. Today I not only celebrate the birth of our savior but the mother that brought him into this world.

God Bless Everyone!

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I’m Especially grateful for my husband. He is the most amazing and wonderful man. I know I gush over him, but he is that great. I am so thankful for him and everything he does for me. I try everyday to show him how much I love him. Our kids are also amazing, so sweet and kind. I can’t say enough about them.

Me and Sylvia putting on the Christmas tree star

I think my faith is the greatest growth this year. I have joined an exceptional church (Faith Church St. Louis). I feel like my soul is changed, softened, happier, filled with hope and true joy. Don’t think I am some crazy bible thumper. I have really embraced my relationship with God and it’s changed my life. Please don’t take this a “preachy” this is just my life, take what you like and leave the rest. I feel blessed and thank God for all that he has given me, especially for you.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Love Lots, Laugh Hard and Sing Loud!

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 2^nd book in The House of Night Series

 By P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast

This book picks up a month after Zoey Redbird started at the House of Night vampyre school. Zoey takes over the Dark Daughters, the “school council” for the fledglings. Her and her friends are learning there new roles all the while humans are being killed in Broken Arrow, Zoey’s home town. It was thought that a vampyre is responsible for the deaths. Zoey uses her powers to save the day and battle evil. Bla Bla Bla…

 Ugh, I wanted so much more from this book. Of course I finished it, but the only exciting part was when her BFF Stevie Ray ??? (gotta read it to get it).  The book is transparent at best. There are no real surprises. I could figure out Nephret was bad in the first book, this book just solidified it. I can also see that the two boyfriends, human Heath and vampyre Eric will be a total drama fest. Heath bugs me, he is so annoying and I want to smack him down like a fly. Eric is better, seems hot and sexy, much better than the dopey football player. I still can’t stand the boy drama! Are teens really like this? Was I really like that? Ugh! No wonder I never had a steady boy friend.

 The other characters are ok, not great. I think the twins are terrible! There’re not really twins, one’s mocha colored and the other a pale blond. They ALWAYS call each other twin, it’s the most annoying thing in the whole book. I can’t stand it. I thought I would get use to it and I didn’t. The token “gay” is Damien, he is sweet and likable. Although, his character is a no-it-all and that is annoying. He is always lecturing about proper vocabulary. Who actually does that!  

 The only real person I like is Aphrodite, she is cheeky and a major smart-***. (Keeping it PG). I want more of her and less of the twins and boy drama. Then again, I bet I would have loved this series at 16. I did like it, not love it, but enough to say it is worth the read (IF you like YA books).

 I don’t know how I feel about the Goddess Nynx. It’s a little too far-fetched for me. I can accept it because it’s a fiction and I would totally love the cool powers she gives. I especially want the tattoos, which would be awesome.

  I was left with the question, do I feel betrayed or just bored?

 With all that said, I give it three Bran Stars.

Of course I read the next book in the series … review coming soon.

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 By P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast

Marked is a young adult book set in today’s world, with a twist. The most beautiful, most powerful and utterly yummy people are all vampyres. When you are “marked” with a sapphire crescent moon right on your forehead, you are then a fledgling vampire. This is the story of Zoey Redbird’s new life. She leaves old friends, some that won’t go away, for the new and exciting life as a fledgling at the House of Night school for vamps.

 Is it believable? Sort of. I like the supernatural elements, but its context is confusing to my system. Maybe I am lacking imagination, but I can’t see my world with vampyres running around. I guess the idea of bringing that world to “light” is just a little hard to imagine. I think it’s much easier when it’s underground and maybe just maybe it could be true. What is the deal with the spelling of vampyre! My Microsoft Word keeps trying to change it to vampire. I read on Amazon that the P.C. just liked the spelling. I say, go for it. It’s different and cool. It helps brand the books. It’s a good marketing tool.

 The only thing I really don’t like is all the boy drama. I know it’s a teenage book, I know that as a teen there is a lot of boy drama, but it’s still a little irritating to my thirty something mind.

This is my Sylvia

 There were some good characters, Stevie Ray, and some bad, the twins. OMG, the twins were so ridicules. I can’t stand the way they call each other “twin”, all the time. It actually distracted me when reading. They brought in sex (just a little) and the cursing isn’t bad, it’s believable (sadly) for teens to talk like that. Of course the “hag from hell” Aphrodite is defeated in the end. Although I can see the proverbial “writing on the wall”, she will have a much bigger role in the books to come. She has too; her personality is one that you love to hate. I love Zoey’s grandmother, Sylvia, and it’s not because that’s my daughters name (but it helps). She is sweet old Cherokee woman with a kind soul, she is well written and I wish I could sit down and have tea with her. Zoey is “special” everyone knows it but her. She is strong, yet vulnerable. She is young and still learning about herself. I like her, I won’t say love, but she’s growing on me.

to four Bran Stars.

P.S. You can get “marked” on the official House of Night website, too cool! Also check out the pictures of your favorite charaters. Zoey looks WAY to old to be 16.

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